Kapitän NullFreund & Fräulein Liebling portrayed by Alex Pardee & Chloe Rice
Kapitän NullFreund was a curmudgeonly sea dog, who was excessively disgruntled and exacerbated by the small minded thinkers of his day. He spent countless years alone, surveying & studying great sea beasts convinced they were a misunderstood lot. He even went so far as to breed a few hybrids to prove they would make dashing pets and companions. Sadly, their temperaments were often a mirror of his own and it was quite unfortunate for the townspeople how many escaped into the local waterways.
When not out at sea, he spent many reclusive days locked in a nautically inspired tower within the family home. The room, filled with multiple breeding tanks of sea creatures, was damp with salt air which caused the ceiling pipes to rust and constantly leak water from above. Needless to say, this furthered his malcontented demeanor.
The only thing that gave him happiness was the affection he felt for his fair love, Fräulein Liebling. He would happily steal away to her secret garden to spend time with her. He was so vexed by her grace that when he was with her all his troubles melted away.
Prior to meeting Kapitän NullFreund, Fräulein Liebling had circled the globe as a free-spirit cartoonist, dancer, photographer, hot-air balloon seamstress, carnivorous plant horticulturist, ventriloquist, spirit median, snake charmer, deep sea pearl diver, cryptologist and dog groomer.
Yet she was never content.
That all changed the day the Kapitän saved her from certain death when her boat capsized in the Bering Sea. She had been transcribing the songs of a pod of Beluga Whales when a young, frisky calf, enamored by her charms bucked her boat and sent her spilling into the icy waters. It was NullFreund’s quick gaffing skills that scooped her onto his deck.
They soon fell in love and he brought her to his home in Germany to live.
It was to the great delights of both Kapitän NullFreund and Fräulein Liebling to learn that they each had finally found security and peace when in each others embrace. Yet, even living in the same household, they could not bear to be apart. Despite their vast differences they constantly longed for each other.
It was her deft sewing skills that solved this dilemma when one day she proposed they make their attachment more permanent. They thus became the first (and last) non-related, conjoined twins ever. Needless to say, their influence was far reaching.
The local townspeople upon seeing them, would oft mutter the curious incantation, “Für die Liebe der Seltsamen Zwillinge!” (For the love of the Strange Twins).
Additionally, their deep love inspired many conjoined twins who were born in subsequent years to eschew the modern scientific conventions of separation. It proved quite true, that two is better than one.
If you’d like Kapitän NullFreund and/or Fräulein Liebling to share their loving ways in your own home, please visit ZeroFriends for prints.
via Ransom & Mitchell